11. Through rose colored glass....
Jan 13, 2016 6:51:30 GMT
Post by Admin on Jan 13, 2016 6:51:30 GMT
Nisa
Old 02-18-2015, 10:55 PM
Nisa woke up and stretched. Sometime during the night she had managed to stretch out on the cot she was on in Jacob's office and sleep. It was the best sleep she'd had in a while. Somehow, being 'home' made it better.
After cleaning up in the bathroom and dressing in training gear, she strolled into the chapel and was putting her long red tresses up as she looked around.
The sun was just barely cresting and the colors from the stained glass were beginning to dapple across the floor and seats as she watched from the doorway. Letting her arms drop, she moved deeper into the sanctuary and sighed. How long since she had thought to come to a place like this? Who out there listened to the prayers of one as dark as she? As dark as them all?
But obviously there was a reason for all this. She had learned on her first time here, there was a reason for everything.
It was that thought that brought a flood of her killing the rose back to mind. Her useless show of power. "You mean failure of power, Nisa," she said out loud to the silence of the room. Pausing in the middle of the room she lifted her hand as a window caught the sunlight and tossed red color onto her hand. It was as if the rose was there again... dieing... for no reason than because she tried and failed.
If anyone came in, she would be standing there, lost in thought, hand holding nothing, but eyes staring as if holding the weight of the world.
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:07 PM
Jacob arose quite early from his slumber. Stretching Jacob then dressed in his church robes for the time being. He'd needed to do a few things there at the church. Although Oshil usually did so when he wasn't around he then sent a message to him telling him he could take some time off. So, Jacob would walk into the church and see how Niesara was doing. That and try and take care of some church matters first.
Heading out into the morning sunlight, Jacob walked the path to the church. Some things on his mind like what he woud do about their budget and how many had donated to it although now he was getting into more pressing matters like having the church also have a branch on Naboo. Thankfully the permits were done and all that had to be done now was the foundation more or less.
Opening the doors to the church, Jacob then saw Niesara standing there looking as if she was holding the weight of the entire galaxy on her shoulders. A red light from the stained glass window blasting it's way into the room as he then looked around. Nobody from his congregation was present so he then used the Force, summoning it's power to him and then felled the curtain that held up over the window. It was used as a shade to hide the light from many of the windows.
He then walked up to her and then asked her to follow him, "I've got a few matters to attend to. Why don't we go into my office?"
The Templar then headed for his office as he then made his way down a few hallways before opening the door with the Force. Walking inside he then offered her a seat as he then sat in his chair at his desk. His saber pike next to him although it was used as a ceremonial staff more or less. Though if he wanted to he could use it.
"You seem troubled, Niesara?" Jacob said before pulling his datapad out and looking over the budget and donations.
***
Nisa
Old 02-18-2015, 11:18 PM
A small gasp escaped her lips as the rose coloring disappeared from her hand and darkness covered it once more. It was as if she had turned it to ash all over again. Blinking she realized the light was merely gone, and no rose had actually been there. Frowning, she looked up and the creased brow settled when she saw Jacob.
Nodding as he said to follow him, she want with him thru the halls absently rubbing her palm as if to wipe the soot from it, despite it not having been there to begin with.
As she sat in his office and watched him begin his daily routine, she took a moment to think of what he had asked. It was such a broad question. So many answers flooded her mind she shook her head slightly and straightened up clearing her throat. "Forgive me. I was just thinking about the past. But that's all it is, is the past. I won't dwell on it further." She let her words stop there.
No need to drudge up the fact she had tried to master the Force in her in a single moment when first coming here and had turned one rose in the garden to ash, and another to a molten unrecognizable mess. No need to bring up that the berating that she had been given for that act and the rise she had gotten from Lord Jasik had almost gotten her killed. No need to mention that mere stubbornness and a deep desire not to give up had stayed her feet when she wanted to run, and had brought a nod of approval that meant she could stay and train.
"I left for foolish reasons and am back, Ma... I mean Jacob." She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I am ready to let my trouble drop behind me and to become what I came to be... a Master of what I am capable of and, with luck, maybe more."
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:31 PM
Jacob looked up from his datapad at the moment she said she was dwelling on the past, "I've done the same thing, Niesara. Many a time."
Looking back at it he was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do on the matter of the budget. Although his student Ashaiya had taken to the orphanage nearby he was wondering what he could do with that budget as well. Though funding also came from donations there wasn't that much to begin with. Still he also funded it himself through the small fortune he acquired from his parents. Then took it and invested it through the IGBC. As Jacob studied it he then looked back up at Niesara a moment as she almost said 'master' then corrected herself. A smile then crept to his face.
"One's past can never be left behind. You could say my past haunts my children to this day. My son has his struggles and my daughter is nowhere to be found." Jacob said with a shrug, "You want to know something?"
Jacob then put down the datapad and then asked, "You want to know why my Penumbra name is 'The Unforgiven'?"
***
Nisa
Old 02-18-2015, 11:41 PM
She saw the ledger he was pouring over and was about to say something when he turned to her and asked if she wanted to know his name origin. Nodding she smiled. "I would. And afterwards, if you would like, I can try and help with that." She nodded to the ledger. "I did my parents' books when they were off on intel runs."
She pulled her leg under her. Despite everything, she was relaxing in his presence. She liked him. Not just because he was easy to talk to, but because of the power he had. That he exuded in every movement, every step he took. Even in simple robes, she could squint and concentrate and see just the barest of auras around him. It gave her a headache to try too long, especially when he was keeping it so dampened. But it was there... and she wanted that. Wanted the control, the power and the destiny.
Looking into his face, she brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "I am sure there is nothing you have done that is so serious that Unforgiven is truly what you are, though."
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:51 PM
Jacob then nodded as she asked if he wanted help with the books, "If you want to try you can."
Seeing her squint her eyes he then wondered what she was doing. Either way he would explain to her why he was named that. Jacob was named such because he was unforgiven on both sides. The Jedi and Sith. Both wanted him. No, the Jedi wanted to have him imprisoned and the Sith wanted him dead. If he went back to either one would they really forgive him for all that? Probably not.
"The reason that is my name is because I've been on both sides of the Force, Niesara. When I was young, I had become a Jedi after my parents deaths at the hands of the Sith. I strove to seek justice and peace wherever it was needed. Or who needed help." Jacob said looking into her eyes with his orange ones.
Then he continued, "After a while I found a Force Nexus. It had corrupted me although I struggled a lot in my Jedi life before that. Still...I had this inner darkness inside me. So, seeking out a means to use it, I went to the Sith. I realized then after so long that they weren't my ways either. After a long while of drinking my life away...Lord Killian found me and brought me here. Then I was apprenticed to Lord Invictus. He taught me everything I needed to know on being a Dark Jedi. You think if I went back to the Jedi they would forgive me for all I'd done? Or the Sith? That's why I'm 'The Unforgiven'. The Jedi would want me imprisoned for the rest of my life and the Sith would want me dead."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 12:03 AM
Nisa nodded and listened. How one could go from such extremes as light to Sith, then find balance here, eluded her. But it made sense. Wasn't that why the rest were here after all? Because the light couldn't satisfy the hunger inside, but the Sith were something they were scared to discover within themselves?
That was why she had come. She knew there was something dark in her. Everyone saw it and said so all her life. It had finally become too hard to hide or ignore so she left. She knew the Sith to be a path she didn't want to explore, didn't want to even KNOW if she had it in her. But she knew her abilities didn't come from healing and good thoughts.
"Invictus had been my Master before I left." She looked down at her hands and saw the flower there, but this time it was only a flash. She looked back up and smiled trying to make light of it. "I like to think I was one of those 'greatest achievements, greatest disappointment' type of students." She laughed but it wasn't genuine. "I saw things he reminded me to never tell anyone but my Masters. Something called Shatter Points. I discovered them by accident when he had one of his headaches. He said it was rare. That I should keep it to myself."
Looking around the room, she noticed little things here and there that gave an insight to who and what he really was. There was an odd picture or nicknack that seemed just slightly out of place in the chapel, but just right when paired with him. Maybe that is how she was... seeking that place where things were just right inside her.
"I am sure if Lord Invictus brought you here, this is where you were meant to be. As to Unforgiven... it doesn't seem to suit you, despite the reasons. Unforgiven lends to not being savable... in coming here, you were. Weren't you?" She watched him a moment to see if she had missed his point completely. She knew what he had said about being slain or enslaved forever. But that didn't make him unforgiven... merely misplaced.
Worried she had been silent too long, she bit her lip and looked back down at her hand. The rose wasn't there this time.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 12:54 PM
Jacob smirked at her mention of being a great achievement or disappointment. He could say the same of himself as a Jedi and a Sith. To him he was Amalia's greatest failure. Although to some Sith he was a great student, just terrible on the delivery of being one. Still, he had his own ways of doing things now. Although he wouldn't go into why that was. As Niesara mentioned Shatter Points, Jacob was intrigued. He'd heard of it but he couldn't do them himself. Then again he knew it was a rarity of sorts.
"Shatter points huh?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, "Quite interesting if Invictus knew of it. Might have been something he'd wish secret but, he is wise to say that. One should keep that to themself. Gives the element of surprise."
It was then Jacob heard Niesara say something about his name. That being unforgiven meant you weren't able to be saved. She had a point, but, being here he was saved from himself. Drinking his life away hadn't helped matters. But he was that for a reason to himself. Would he be forgiven if he ever went back to either one? Probably not.
"In some aspect I guess I was." Jacob said with a shrug, lowering his eyebrow, "But, are any of us forgiven for the things we've done or said?"
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 03:23 PM
As he asked if anyone ever is truly forgiven, she clasped her hands and fought to not look down. The fact that her destruction of the roses had been drilled into her time and again as pointless and frivolous, she laughed softly. "I guess not."
As she watched him comment on the Shatter points, she had an idea. "Can you see Force Auras? I mean how strong a Force build up is in not just a person or object as a whole, but over their body?" Her brow creased as she tried to think of an example. "Say I tried to pull a concentrated amount of Force to my hand to do something to someone, or ..." she started to say burn something but changed her mind, "something like that. Can you tell it's concentrated there?"
Not everyone could. But it was how she saw The Force in others, when they weren't masking it, anyway. It was layers of tendrils of color depending on whether anger, rage, love, regret or some other emotion was fueling it. She had discovered not everyone saw The Force in the same way. And some couldn't even see it, which seemed odd to her, but sensed it like a ball of power or build of electrical energy.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:03 PM
As Niesara asked if he could see Force Auras he then nodded. He could, but, to a point where he would only see the outline of one if they used it. Like if it was blue or red. More or less. Then there were creatures and other thing he would see as white. Which meant it was either neutral. An interesting take but that's how he saw the Force when he reached out with Force Sense.
"I do in ways. I can see someone's aura if it is light or dark...or neither. But, I can sense sometimes where the Force is being used. If it's something big perhaps. Little things I don't pick up on. Unless someone rains down a rainstorm or something usually I only sense if the person is there. Most of the time."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 10:16 PM
Nisa shook her head. "Never mind, then. The best I can describe it is that it's a weakness, a discoloration I can see. I know it's there and can use it to my advantage. Like a headache would show the ache as a slightly different color than the ripple of the Force around it." She felt foolish and decided to change the subject.
"But I need to practice basics more. My Push and Pull are weak and control is still something I struggle with." She finally looked down at her hands again and was grateful the images weren't there. "Maybe because I failed so much before."
She looked back up and smiled. "I can show you when we practice. But if you want, I can take a look at that ledger and try and help you find what you are looking for." She felt like a klutz all over again when she spoke of Shatter Points. She had discovered in her studies that seeing them was rare. So how does one prove they can not only see them, but have ideas how to exploit and use them to her advantage? Perhaps she would seek out another Master if Jacob would allow it, to study just that one aspect.
She wouldn't bring it up now. She wanted other knowledge, other abilities more. Abilities and knowledge Jacob had shown her.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:24 PM
"We all go through failure, Niesara." Jacob said with a chuckle, "Even me. You know how much I struggled when I was a Jedi, and now a Dark Jedi? You think Invictus had a headache with you...just imagine someone who's done it before and learned to do it all over again."
Looking at his ledger and his datapad he then slid his chair back, "If you want to go on ahead and look at the ledgers."
He then rose from his chair and then walked over to a closet. Taking his robes off he then placed them inside on a hanger. Though Jacob had a few sets of clothes in there he then took his formal shirt off leaving his pants on though. Hopefully she wouldn't see his chest as he took the t-shirt and turned around pulling it over his head. Once it was on he then shut the closet door and then turned back around.
"We'll begin practice tomorrow. On the moon." Jacob said with a smile.
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 10:47 PM
She turned at the sound of the closet opening. But as soon as he removed his shirt, she turned back to the ledger blushing. She had caught sight of what she assumed were deep scars on his back, but that was all. "Yes, Sir..." she answered as he spoke of training beginning tomorrow.
As she looked at the numbers, she frowned slightly. "What exactly are you looking for? Something not adding up right? Or something else?" She had a head for numbers, having kept the family ledgers for the house better than her parents had. But unless she was told what to look for, all she could do was validate the totals were right.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:55 PM
"How to move more funding to the orphanage without making it too obvious. The donations are fine from the nobles around here but I don't want them wondering where their money is going. It's supposed to fund the church since I've been funding the orphanage with my own money. Though I'd like to make sure the numbers look right to all of them. I'm supposed to send the budget for both here soon." Jacob said walking back to his desk.
Though Jacob caught sight of her backside. As she was bent over looking at the ledger he then stared at her butt. As he did he shook his head before looking down at his ledger again. He didn't want things to be weird but, he was a guy after all. It was only natural to stare at a woman's butt. Or any part of them for that matter.
"Can you help me with this?" Jacob said, "If so I could find a place for you here somewhere."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 11:19 PM
Nisa was so caught up in the ledger, she failed to notice his stare.
"So Church funds aren't supposed to go to the Orphanage?" She frowned slightly. "Well, I don't see why not. I mean if you could say, hire the older orphanage children to help around the church with duties like cleaning and upkeep, the donations would then be valid. The money would go to the orphanage in the name of rehabilitation. Perhaps give them extra spiritual guidance as you do it. If you make the helpers those who are more high risk, then the support of the Orphanage would make more sense."
She then showed him over the next hour or two where small cuts to things like upkeep on a wing of the church that was in excellent shape right now, and putting off new stained glass in the narthex would open up enough funds to warrant the help of three to four of the older children. "Then, as your parishioners and heavy donation givers see the use of their money actually helping the church more, and saving the kids, you could then validate funneling more money that direction."
She leaned back and realized at some point she had settled in his chair. She started to rise quickly as she apologized. "Sorry... I didn't mean to take your chair."
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 12:11 AM
"Nice way of putting things, Niesara." Jacob said with a chuckle, "That could work."
He'd never thought of it till she said it. Jacob didn't want to but if the need arose he would have to. Some of the children needed things to do anyways then just sit around bored waiting for adoption. So, giving them work to do might come in handy and give them experience in other matters.
In an hour she showed him where he could cut things out. Do more with what he had. Although she sat in his chair the Templar didn't mind it at all. It was rather funny actually. He could look over where they could make cuts at and find things he would be able to put more funding into. Although the stained glass thing was certainly something he could cut out for now.
"I applaud your efforts there, Niesara." Jacob said clapping his hands, and then smirked as she was still in his seat, "It's alright. Kinda funny actually."
He then waved her to sit back down. There was another chair and he pulled it up beside her.
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 01:23 AM
"The trick to donors," she said as she blushed and took his seat once more, "is to find out what they are passionate about and work it into your needs." She pointed to places where larger donations were coming from. "Convince these folks that donations straight to the orphanage may be denied for pride reasons. But if they donate to you, then you can help those at risk, or needy kids yourself, and keep track of the monies."
She tilted her head slightly and examined a couple more lines. "This donor, for example. I know they are heavy supporters of those trying to curtail the smuggling in this quadrant. Convince them that giving these orphans a meaningful job around the church insures you offer money to the orphanage as long as it goes to education and job skill training. Then," she smiled and sat back, "YOU get to control the money, and they may invest even more realizing that less will go to the church. So you can grow your income here and still help the orphanage."
She winked. "Once a year you parade a couple bright successful employed orphans before the board and let them say how the orphanage and the church saved their lives. Trust me, soon you will be supporting more orphanages than you know what to do with." She laughed at the thought. Her parents had grown their coffers that way. Finding out what others wanted, supplying it faster and better than anyone else, then acting humble when the income grew. They knew if you kept people happy, money didn't matter to them as much.
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 01:43 PM
"Interesting." Jacob said placing a hand to his chin, looking it over, "I might have to make you the church's treasurer."
He then said that with a laugh. Jacob was serious though. If she wanted the job of being the treasurer for the orphanage she could have it. Then he wouldn't have to worry himself and stress over too much. That's what he was doing nowadays. One could tell from the slight circles under his eyes.
The Templar then put his hand on her shoulder and said, "You've done a fine job giving me ideas and insight into things."
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 05:35 PM
As he mentioned helping as treasurer, she smiled and nodded. "It would give me something useful besides tending the garden as I was doing before." She felt his hand and lifted to hand to cover his. "I will help any way I can."
She wanted his approval. She was asking to be his student, she had no other way to repay him. But she winked as she let her hand drop and she closed the ledger. "But I will work for you only if you teach me to be the best Dark Jedi I can be. Teach me to go beyond what I desire, what I am capable of, and what I even know are my limits." She stared into his face and watched his reaction.
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 09:39 PM
Jacob watched her cover his hand with her own, "I'm glad to hear that."
He was though. Even though he needed much help with the monetary functions of the church and orphange he knew that there would be something she wished as well. Training perhaps? If so he would gladly oblige. Teach her whatever she needed to know. Anything at all he would gladly help her with. Knowing that Invictus wasn't around she would need all the help she would be able to get.
"I will teach you how. All you'll have to do ask, Niesara." Jacob said with a wink and grinned, "You'll just need to remember I'm not Invictus. I teach very differently then he does."
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 10:15 PM
She listened as he spoke of not being Lord Invictus. It pained her, somewhat, that he wasn't around. But she knew she had to train. Jacob probably wouldn't be her only Master as she progressed. Each Master had their skill sets, and she would be remiss in her growth to not explore as much as she could.
"I desire to learn. I am asking." She smiled then and stood to give him back his seat. "Is there anything I can do for you now? I should go pack my things in the other room. I imagine you want your other office back at some point. I should find a permanent place to stay while I am learning from you." She knew from his attire that training probably wouldn't happen today. But she was sure there were other things she could offer to help with.
Even tasks as simple as cleaning could be used as lessons to work on her rusty PUSH and PULL skills. She had been so caught up in her search while gone that she had let many things lax. She knew she would be starting ahead of where she was when she came the first time, but no where near where she was when she left.
***
Jacob
Old 02-21-2015, 05:05 PM
Jacob smirked and shook his head, "No, that'll be all for today. You've been a great help to me, Niesara. Thank you."
Inclining his head, Jacob then waved her off as she spoke of finding a permanent place to stay. If needed she could stay in the other room. He would go back to his palace room for now. Not like he would be spending too many late nights thanks to her financial advice. He was glad she was here to help him though. Her knowledge of numbers was a great asset to him.
"If you need to you can stay in the other room. Not like I'm gonna use it right away. I'll see what I can do for something permanent." Jacob said, "I'll see if I can get a hold of my friend, Rel. He might know where the empty parts are. The parts nobody stays in yet. There is some I've heard. He might know more since there are cameras throughout the palace. I think."
He said that last part with a stiffle of a laugh. Smiling he then watched her get up out of his chair as he then sat back down in his seat. Though it was only to do a few rummaging around for things like his other datapad and his saber pike. Holding it he then looked at Niesara with a wink.
"Just don't mess up the place. I try and keep it organized..." He said then started laughing, "...yeah...couldn't say that with a straight face."
***
Nisa
Old 02-21-2015, 06:03 PM
Nisa smiled as he said she could remain in the Chapel. It was calming here, quiet. When he mentioned a place alone on her own in the Keep, she bit her lip. “Is it allowed? I mean to not have to sleep with the other trainees?” She didn’t want to get him in trouble because he was trying to be nice. Granted she wasn’t really a new fresh on the planet recruit, but she was still a Neophyte. She had been told she probably wouldn’t get her own room till she was a Knight.
When he said she could stay, but not mess anything up, she smiled and nodded. “I won’t touch anything. I promise. And I will help out around here, for sure. Till those orphanage kids start coming, you need help anyway.”
She was glad he wasn’t going to just toss her back in the Keep tonight. She needed to go down there eventually and face everyone, but she still wasn’t ready. She wished she could sleep and live in the practice grounds always. Would be easier. But since training included sparring with peers, she would have to mingle soon, regardless if she wanted to or not.
***
END THREAD
Old 02-18-2015, 10:55 PM
Nisa woke up and stretched. Sometime during the night she had managed to stretch out on the cot she was on in Jacob's office and sleep. It was the best sleep she'd had in a while. Somehow, being 'home' made it better.
After cleaning up in the bathroom and dressing in training gear, she strolled into the chapel and was putting her long red tresses up as she looked around.
The sun was just barely cresting and the colors from the stained glass were beginning to dapple across the floor and seats as she watched from the doorway. Letting her arms drop, she moved deeper into the sanctuary and sighed. How long since she had thought to come to a place like this? Who out there listened to the prayers of one as dark as she? As dark as them all?
But obviously there was a reason for all this. She had learned on her first time here, there was a reason for everything.
It was that thought that brought a flood of her killing the rose back to mind. Her useless show of power. "You mean failure of power, Nisa," she said out loud to the silence of the room. Pausing in the middle of the room she lifted her hand as a window caught the sunlight and tossed red color onto her hand. It was as if the rose was there again... dieing... for no reason than because she tried and failed.
If anyone came in, she would be standing there, lost in thought, hand holding nothing, but eyes staring as if holding the weight of the world.
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:07 PM
Jacob arose quite early from his slumber. Stretching Jacob then dressed in his church robes for the time being. He'd needed to do a few things there at the church. Although Oshil usually did so when he wasn't around he then sent a message to him telling him he could take some time off. So, Jacob would walk into the church and see how Niesara was doing. That and try and take care of some church matters first.
Heading out into the morning sunlight, Jacob walked the path to the church. Some things on his mind like what he woud do about their budget and how many had donated to it although now he was getting into more pressing matters like having the church also have a branch on Naboo. Thankfully the permits were done and all that had to be done now was the foundation more or less.
Opening the doors to the church, Jacob then saw Niesara standing there looking as if she was holding the weight of the entire galaxy on her shoulders. A red light from the stained glass window blasting it's way into the room as he then looked around. Nobody from his congregation was present so he then used the Force, summoning it's power to him and then felled the curtain that held up over the window. It was used as a shade to hide the light from many of the windows.
He then walked up to her and then asked her to follow him, "I've got a few matters to attend to. Why don't we go into my office?"
The Templar then headed for his office as he then made his way down a few hallways before opening the door with the Force. Walking inside he then offered her a seat as he then sat in his chair at his desk. His saber pike next to him although it was used as a ceremonial staff more or less. Though if he wanted to he could use it.
"You seem troubled, Niesara?" Jacob said before pulling his datapad out and looking over the budget and donations.
***
Nisa
Old 02-18-2015, 11:18 PM
A small gasp escaped her lips as the rose coloring disappeared from her hand and darkness covered it once more. It was as if she had turned it to ash all over again. Blinking she realized the light was merely gone, and no rose had actually been there. Frowning, she looked up and the creased brow settled when she saw Jacob.
Nodding as he said to follow him, she want with him thru the halls absently rubbing her palm as if to wipe the soot from it, despite it not having been there to begin with.
As she sat in his office and watched him begin his daily routine, she took a moment to think of what he had asked. It was such a broad question. So many answers flooded her mind she shook her head slightly and straightened up clearing her throat. "Forgive me. I was just thinking about the past. But that's all it is, is the past. I won't dwell on it further." She let her words stop there.
No need to drudge up the fact she had tried to master the Force in her in a single moment when first coming here and had turned one rose in the garden to ash, and another to a molten unrecognizable mess. No need to bring up that the berating that she had been given for that act and the rise she had gotten from Lord Jasik had almost gotten her killed. No need to mention that mere stubbornness and a deep desire not to give up had stayed her feet when she wanted to run, and had brought a nod of approval that meant she could stay and train.
"I left for foolish reasons and am back, Ma... I mean Jacob." She looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I am ready to let my trouble drop behind me and to become what I came to be... a Master of what I am capable of and, with luck, maybe more."
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:31 PM
Jacob looked up from his datapad at the moment she said she was dwelling on the past, "I've done the same thing, Niesara. Many a time."
Looking back at it he was having a hard time trying to figure out what to do on the matter of the budget. Although his student Ashaiya had taken to the orphanage nearby he was wondering what he could do with that budget as well. Though funding also came from donations there wasn't that much to begin with. Still he also funded it himself through the small fortune he acquired from his parents. Then took it and invested it through the IGBC. As Jacob studied it he then looked back up at Niesara a moment as she almost said 'master' then corrected herself. A smile then crept to his face.
"One's past can never be left behind. You could say my past haunts my children to this day. My son has his struggles and my daughter is nowhere to be found." Jacob said with a shrug, "You want to know something?"
Jacob then put down the datapad and then asked, "You want to know why my Penumbra name is 'The Unforgiven'?"
***
Nisa
Old 02-18-2015, 11:41 PM
She saw the ledger he was pouring over and was about to say something when he turned to her and asked if she wanted to know his name origin. Nodding she smiled. "I would. And afterwards, if you would like, I can try and help with that." She nodded to the ledger. "I did my parents' books when they were off on intel runs."
She pulled her leg under her. Despite everything, she was relaxing in his presence. She liked him. Not just because he was easy to talk to, but because of the power he had. That he exuded in every movement, every step he took. Even in simple robes, she could squint and concentrate and see just the barest of auras around him. It gave her a headache to try too long, especially when he was keeping it so dampened. But it was there... and she wanted that. Wanted the control, the power and the destiny.
Looking into his face, she brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "I am sure there is nothing you have done that is so serious that Unforgiven is truly what you are, though."
***
Jacob
Old 02-18-2015, 11:51 PM
Jacob then nodded as she asked if he wanted help with the books, "If you want to try you can."
Seeing her squint her eyes he then wondered what she was doing. Either way he would explain to her why he was named that. Jacob was named such because he was unforgiven on both sides. The Jedi and Sith. Both wanted him. No, the Jedi wanted to have him imprisoned and the Sith wanted him dead. If he went back to either one would they really forgive him for all that? Probably not.
"The reason that is my name is because I've been on both sides of the Force, Niesara. When I was young, I had become a Jedi after my parents deaths at the hands of the Sith. I strove to seek justice and peace wherever it was needed. Or who needed help." Jacob said looking into her eyes with his orange ones.
Then he continued, "After a while I found a Force Nexus. It had corrupted me although I struggled a lot in my Jedi life before that. Still...I had this inner darkness inside me. So, seeking out a means to use it, I went to the Sith. I realized then after so long that they weren't my ways either. After a long while of drinking my life away...Lord Killian found me and brought me here. Then I was apprenticed to Lord Invictus. He taught me everything I needed to know on being a Dark Jedi. You think if I went back to the Jedi they would forgive me for all I'd done? Or the Sith? That's why I'm 'The Unforgiven'. The Jedi would want me imprisoned for the rest of my life and the Sith would want me dead."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 12:03 AM
Nisa nodded and listened. How one could go from such extremes as light to Sith, then find balance here, eluded her. But it made sense. Wasn't that why the rest were here after all? Because the light couldn't satisfy the hunger inside, but the Sith were something they were scared to discover within themselves?
That was why she had come. She knew there was something dark in her. Everyone saw it and said so all her life. It had finally become too hard to hide or ignore so she left. She knew the Sith to be a path she didn't want to explore, didn't want to even KNOW if she had it in her. But she knew her abilities didn't come from healing and good thoughts.
"Invictus had been my Master before I left." She looked down at her hands and saw the flower there, but this time it was only a flash. She looked back up and smiled trying to make light of it. "I like to think I was one of those 'greatest achievements, greatest disappointment' type of students." She laughed but it wasn't genuine. "I saw things he reminded me to never tell anyone but my Masters. Something called Shatter Points. I discovered them by accident when he had one of his headaches. He said it was rare. That I should keep it to myself."
Looking around the room, she noticed little things here and there that gave an insight to who and what he really was. There was an odd picture or nicknack that seemed just slightly out of place in the chapel, but just right when paired with him. Maybe that is how she was... seeking that place where things were just right inside her.
"I am sure if Lord Invictus brought you here, this is where you were meant to be. As to Unforgiven... it doesn't seem to suit you, despite the reasons. Unforgiven lends to not being savable... in coming here, you were. Weren't you?" She watched him a moment to see if she had missed his point completely. She knew what he had said about being slain or enslaved forever. But that didn't make him unforgiven... merely misplaced.
Worried she had been silent too long, she bit her lip and looked back down at her hand. The rose wasn't there this time.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 12:54 PM
Jacob smirked at her mention of being a great achievement or disappointment. He could say the same of himself as a Jedi and a Sith. To him he was Amalia's greatest failure. Although to some Sith he was a great student, just terrible on the delivery of being one. Still, he had his own ways of doing things now. Although he wouldn't go into why that was. As Niesara mentioned Shatter Points, Jacob was intrigued. He'd heard of it but he couldn't do them himself. Then again he knew it was a rarity of sorts.
"Shatter points huh?" He asked with a raised eyebrow, "Quite interesting if Invictus knew of it. Might have been something he'd wish secret but, he is wise to say that. One should keep that to themself. Gives the element of surprise."
It was then Jacob heard Niesara say something about his name. That being unforgiven meant you weren't able to be saved. She had a point, but, being here he was saved from himself. Drinking his life away hadn't helped matters. But he was that for a reason to himself. Would he be forgiven if he ever went back to either one? Probably not.
"In some aspect I guess I was." Jacob said with a shrug, lowering his eyebrow, "But, are any of us forgiven for the things we've done or said?"
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 03:23 PM
As he asked if anyone ever is truly forgiven, she clasped her hands and fought to not look down. The fact that her destruction of the roses had been drilled into her time and again as pointless and frivolous, she laughed softly. "I guess not."
As she watched him comment on the Shatter points, she had an idea. "Can you see Force Auras? I mean how strong a Force build up is in not just a person or object as a whole, but over their body?" Her brow creased as she tried to think of an example. "Say I tried to pull a concentrated amount of Force to my hand to do something to someone, or ..." she started to say burn something but changed her mind, "something like that. Can you tell it's concentrated there?"
Not everyone could. But it was how she saw The Force in others, when they weren't masking it, anyway. It was layers of tendrils of color depending on whether anger, rage, love, regret or some other emotion was fueling it. She had discovered not everyone saw The Force in the same way. And some couldn't even see it, which seemed odd to her, but sensed it like a ball of power or build of electrical energy.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:03 PM
As Niesara asked if he could see Force Auras he then nodded. He could, but, to a point where he would only see the outline of one if they used it. Like if it was blue or red. More or less. Then there were creatures and other thing he would see as white. Which meant it was either neutral. An interesting take but that's how he saw the Force when he reached out with Force Sense.
"I do in ways. I can see someone's aura if it is light or dark...or neither. But, I can sense sometimes where the Force is being used. If it's something big perhaps. Little things I don't pick up on. Unless someone rains down a rainstorm or something usually I only sense if the person is there. Most of the time."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 10:16 PM
Nisa shook her head. "Never mind, then. The best I can describe it is that it's a weakness, a discoloration I can see. I know it's there and can use it to my advantage. Like a headache would show the ache as a slightly different color than the ripple of the Force around it." She felt foolish and decided to change the subject.
"But I need to practice basics more. My Push and Pull are weak and control is still something I struggle with." She finally looked down at her hands again and was grateful the images weren't there. "Maybe because I failed so much before."
She looked back up and smiled. "I can show you when we practice. But if you want, I can take a look at that ledger and try and help you find what you are looking for." She felt like a klutz all over again when she spoke of Shatter Points. She had discovered in her studies that seeing them was rare. So how does one prove they can not only see them, but have ideas how to exploit and use them to her advantage? Perhaps she would seek out another Master if Jacob would allow it, to study just that one aspect.
She wouldn't bring it up now. She wanted other knowledge, other abilities more. Abilities and knowledge Jacob had shown her.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:24 PM
"We all go through failure, Niesara." Jacob said with a chuckle, "Even me. You know how much I struggled when I was a Jedi, and now a Dark Jedi? You think Invictus had a headache with you...just imagine someone who's done it before and learned to do it all over again."
Looking at his ledger and his datapad he then slid his chair back, "If you want to go on ahead and look at the ledgers."
He then rose from his chair and then walked over to a closet. Taking his robes off he then placed them inside on a hanger. Though Jacob had a few sets of clothes in there he then took his formal shirt off leaving his pants on though. Hopefully she wouldn't see his chest as he took the t-shirt and turned around pulling it over his head. Once it was on he then shut the closet door and then turned back around.
"We'll begin practice tomorrow. On the moon." Jacob said with a smile.
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 10:47 PM
She turned at the sound of the closet opening. But as soon as he removed his shirt, she turned back to the ledger blushing. She had caught sight of what she assumed were deep scars on his back, but that was all. "Yes, Sir..." she answered as he spoke of training beginning tomorrow.
As she looked at the numbers, she frowned slightly. "What exactly are you looking for? Something not adding up right? Or something else?" She had a head for numbers, having kept the family ledgers for the house better than her parents had. But unless she was told what to look for, all she could do was validate the totals were right.
***
Jacob
Old 02-19-2015, 10:55 PM
"How to move more funding to the orphanage without making it too obvious. The donations are fine from the nobles around here but I don't want them wondering where their money is going. It's supposed to fund the church since I've been funding the orphanage with my own money. Though I'd like to make sure the numbers look right to all of them. I'm supposed to send the budget for both here soon." Jacob said walking back to his desk.
Though Jacob caught sight of her backside. As she was bent over looking at the ledger he then stared at her butt. As he did he shook his head before looking down at his ledger again. He didn't want things to be weird but, he was a guy after all. It was only natural to stare at a woman's butt. Or any part of them for that matter.
"Can you help me with this?" Jacob said, "If so I could find a place for you here somewhere."
***
Nisa
Old 02-19-2015, 11:19 PM
Nisa was so caught up in the ledger, she failed to notice his stare.
"So Church funds aren't supposed to go to the Orphanage?" She frowned slightly. "Well, I don't see why not. I mean if you could say, hire the older orphanage children to help around the church with duties like cleaning and upkeep, the donations would then be valid. The money would go to the orphanage in the name of rehabilitation. Perhaps give them extra spiritual guidance as you do it. If you make the helpers those who are more high risk, then the support of the Orphanage would make more sense."
She then showed him over the next hour or two where small cuts to things like upkeep on a wing of the church that was in excellent shape right now, and putting off new stained glass in the narthex would open up enough funds to warrant the help of three to four of the older children. "Then, as your parishioners and heavy donation givers see the use of their money actually helping the church more, and saving the kids, you could then validate funneling more money that direction."
She leaned back and realized at some point she had settled in his chair. She started to rise quickly as she apologized. "Sorry... I didn't mean to take your chair."
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 12:11 AM
"Nice way of putting things, Niesara." Jacob said with a chuckle, "That could work."
He'd never thought of it till she said it. Jacob didn't want to but if the need arose he would have to. Some of the children needed things to do anyways then just sit around bored waiting for adoption. So, giving them work to do might come in handy and give them experience in other matters.
In an hour she showed him where he could cut things out. Do more with what he had. Although she sat in his chair the Templar didn't mind it at all. It was rather funny actually. He could look over where they could make cuts at and find things he would be able to put more funding into. Although the stained glass thing was certainly something he could cut out for now.
"I applaud your efforts there, Niesara." Jacob said clapping his hands, and then smirked as she was still in his seat, "It's alright. Kinda funny actually."
He then waved her to sit back down. There was another chair and he pulled it up beside her.
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 01:23 AM
"The trick to donors," she said as she blushed and took his seat once more, "is to find out what they are passionate about and work it into your needs." She pointed to places where larger donations were coming from. "Convince these folks that donations straight to the orphanage may be denied for pride reasons. But if they donate to you, then you can help those at risk, or needy kids yourself, and keep track of the monies."
She tilted her head slightly and examined a couple more lines. "This donor, for example. I know they are heavy supporters of those trying to curtail the smuggling in this quadrant. Convince them that giving these orphans a meaningful job around the church insures you offer money to the orphanage as long as it goes to education and job skill training. Then," she smiled and sat back, "YOU get to control the money, and they may invest even more realizing that less will go to the church. So you can grow your income here and still help the orphanage."
She winked. "Once a year you parade a couple bright successful employed orphans before the board and let them say how the orphanage and the church saved their lives. Trust me, soon you will be supporting more orphanages than you know what to do with." She laughed at the thought. Her parents had grown their coffers that way. Finding out what others wanted, supplying it faster and better than anyone else, then acting humble when the income grew. They knew if you kept people happy, money didn't matter to them as much.
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 01:43 PM
"Interesting." Jacob said placing a hand to his chin, looking it over, "I might have to make you the church's treasurer."
He then said that with a laugh. Jacob was serious though. If she wanted the job of being the treasurer for the orphanage she could have it. Then he wouldn't have to worry himself and stress over too much. That's what he was doing nowadays. One could tell from the slight circles under his eyes.
The Templar then put his hand on her shoulder and said, "You've done a fine job giving me ideas and insight into things."
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 05:35 PM
As he mentioned helping as treasurer, she smiled and nodded. "It would give me something useful besides tending the garden as I was doing before." She felt his hand and lifted to hand to cover his. "I will help any way I can."
She wanted his approval. She was asking to be his student, she had no other way to repay him. But she winked as she let her hand drop and she closed the ledger. "But I will work for you only if you teach me to be the best Dark Jedi I can be. Teach me to go beyond what I desire, what I am capable of, and what I even know are my limits." She stared into his face and watched his reaction.
***
Jacob
Old 02-20-2015, 09:39 PM
Jacob watched her cover his hand with her own, "I'm glad to hear that."
He was though. Even though he needed much help with the monetary functions of the church and orphange he knew that there would be something she wished as well. Training perhaps? If so he would gladly oblige. Teach her whatever she needed to know. Anything at all he would gladly help her with. Knowing that Invictus wasn't around she would need all the help she would be able to get.
"I will teach you how. All you'll have to do ask, Niesara." Jacob said with a wink and grinned, "You'll just need to remember I'm not Invictus. I teach very differently then he does."
***
Nisa
Old 02-20-2015, 10:15 PM
She listened as he spoke of not being Lord Invictus. It pained her, somewhat, that he wasn't around. But she knew she had to train. Jacob probably wouldn't be her only Master as she progressed. Each Master had their skill sets, and she would be remiss in her growth to not explore as much as she could.
"I desire to learn. I am asking." She smiled then and stood to give him back his seat. "Is there anything I can do for you now? I should go pack my things in the other room. I imagine you want your other office back at some point. I should find a permanent place to stay while I am learning from you." She knew from his attire that training probably wouldn't happen today. But she was sure there were other things she could offer to help with.
Even tasks as simple as cleaning could be used as lessons to work on her rusty PUSH and PULL skills. She had been so caught up in her search while gone that she had let many things lax. She knew she would be starting ahead of where she was when she came the first time, but no where near where she was when she left.
***
Jacob
Old 02-21-2015, 05:05 PM
Jacob smirked and shook his head, "No, that'll be all for today. You've been a great help to me, Niesara. Thank you."
Inclining his head, Jacob then waved her off as she spoke of finding a permanent place to stay. If needed she could stay in the other room. He would go back to his palace room for now. Not like he would be spending too many late nights thanks to her financial advice. He was glad she was here to help him though. Her knowledge of numbers was a great asset to him.
"If you need to you can stay in the other room. Not like I'm gonna use it right away. I'll see what I can do for something permanent." Jacob said, "I'll see if I can get a hold of my friend, Rel. He might know where the empty parts are. The parts nobody stays in yet. There is some I've heard. He might know more since there are cameras throughout the palace. I think."
He said that last part with a stiffle of a laugh. Smiling he then watched her get up out of his chair as he then sat back down in his seat. Though it was only to do a few rummaging around for things like his other datapad and his saber pike. Holding it he then looked at Niesara with a wink.
"Just don't mess up the place. I try and keep it organized..." He said then started laughing, "...yeah...couldn't say that with a straight face."
***
Nisa
Old 02-21-2015, 06:03 PM
Nisa smiled as he said she could remain in the Chapel. It was calming here, quiet. When he mentioned a place alone on her own in the Keep, she bit her lip. “Is it allowed? I mean to not have to sleep with the other trainees?” She didn’t want to get him in trouble because he was trying to be nice. Granted she wasn’t really a new fresh on the planet recruit, but she was still a Neophyte. She had been told she probably wouldn’t get her own room till she was a Knight.
When he said she could stay, but not mess anything up, she smiled and nodded. “I won’t touch anything. I promise. And I will help out around here, for sure. Till those orphanage kids start coming, you need help anyway.”
She was glad he wasn’t going to just toss her back in the Keep tonight. She needed to go down there eventually and face everyone, but she still wasn’t ready. She wished she could sleep and live in the practice grounds always. Would be easier. But since training included sparring with peers, she would have to mingle soon, regardless if she wanted to or not.
***
END THREAD